The Expert Podcast

Look I think we can all agree that everyone is at least stressed out there's more anxiety there's more uh conflict in the world than um there has been in most of recent history even to the extent that some people are saying there's more mental health problems than there ever has been so what we're going to do today in our series of observing that is look at things that we can do on a daily basis that might basically help us feel better and every episode we're gonna have three or four things to do that don't take long that very easy to do that might have an effect on improved well-being.

So let's take a look at three things or four things we can do right now and these may be difficult obviously there's no requirement you have to do these but it's worth trying to see what effect it has on you if any.
The first thing is take your mobile device your phone and put it someplace for 90 minutes and do whatever it is you would normally do watch tv go for a walk um walk around the house clean the yard whatever it is you would normally do do it without your phone accessible to you put in a drawer you have to lock it up you don't have to do anything crazy but what is it like existing without that device.

At first you might have anxiety where's my phone i got to grab it it's right here if it's not within sight some people get very nervous but if you plan for a time when you're not going to be unsafe without your phone you're not going to be out in the woods somewhere you're not going to be a place where you need to make a call or you don't have somebody that needs to reach you urgently if there's a time when this is convenient do it.

And what's going to happen is you'll find that there are some things that you got used to using your phone for maybe looking up information maybe checking your email checking your text sending a post on facebook if you go for that hour hour and a half you'll find that first of all the world does not come to an end without it and you'll find ways to cope without it it's not going to be easy and you're not going to want to do this all the time but it's an exercise just like working out on a treadmill lifting weights going for a walk it's an exercise of your mind to figure out how your mind can exist without having that um mental pacifier right there to look at a picture to take a picture to send a text and you may find you realize some things that weren't obvious to you before try that out and see what happens no phone for one hour we call that.

Another one is to try for one day to eat no sugar and no wheat we're not doctors we're not giving you medical advice and we don't even we didn't do any research on this but there's a lot of people that say sugar and wheat are bad for you okay maybe it is maybe it isn't who knows unless you have some you know medical or doctors thing that you have to eat this see what happens if you don't it's an experiment it's a test.

Some people find they have sense of well-being from doing this and maybe make a note of how you feel you maybe have cravings at first maybe you have anxiety because you can't reach for a doughnut but see what happens if you don't eat sugar or wheat for one day what's the worst that can happen you're cranky at the end of the day all right you're cranky go back to eating sugar who cares but at least you're trying things out it's like you're doing your own research on yourself of course don't do anything it's dangerous.

Let's take a look at another this one's a little more complicated but it might be easier to do think of a person that is relatively close to you a friend a colleague a co-worker relative and when you have some time when you'll be around that person for you know at least 20 or 30 minutes maybe you're driving somewhere maybe you're at a ballgame maybe you're at a park at a picnic ask that person this question say is there something that you'd love to talk about a story an experience an opinion just something you'd love to say out loud that you don't you want to talk about more than you do and you don't have an outlet to talk about it or to tell the story because all your friends that you know they've heard it a million times and every time you bring the story up they roll their eyes and groan oh not this again or maybe all the people you're friends with just don't understand this story or maybe they don't agree with you.

Have the person think of a subject of conversation that's completely selfish to them it's only what they want to talk about or maybe it's something that they you know feel i wouldn't say embarrassed but just kind of bashful about saying because maybe it sounds egotistical maybe it's embarrassing and of course do this within you know the bounds of being appropriate and have that person invite them to say look for the next 10 minutes or 15 minutes or however long you want to put into it even five minutes just ramble on about that subject tell me that story ramble on about that opinion you have ramble on about whatever it is almost like i'm not here pretend that my presence has no bearing on this subject just stream of consciousness just say it all out loud.

And just sit there don't agree don't disagree don't have an opinion you can shake your head yeah i hear that you can acknowledge the conversation but you're not there to offer support advice approval judgment whatever it is you're just there to have that person say it out loud get it off their chest and at the end of that conversation only ask one question how did that feel like to be able to talk about that thing for 10 minutes that's the only thing you want to know how did they feel about it not how you felt about hearing it how did they feel about saying it out loud and once they give you that opinion that exercise is over move on to the next thing.

Now you may find that it's annoying or you know really kind of difficult to listen to somebody ramble on about something but that's what you're offering them you're giving them the gift of listening to that thing whatever it is without having to have an opinion or anything about it and you find that being able to deal with somebody else just rambling about something based on your invitation is not as bad as it is when somebody forces something on you they force you to listen to something or watch a show or whatever it is you ask for it and you're doing it in a place where you're ready to to be okay with with that for 10 minutes as long as it's not dangerous or you know obviously toxic and see how they feel about it.

You might find that you giving them that outlet creates more connection with you in that person worst case scenario it's going to make them feel better it gives them an outlet to talk about something that they have to keep bottled up look you're not a counselor you're not a therapist but you're just letting that person speak about something and they might take a big sigh of relief and appreciate you giving them that space.

It doesn't matter if they say the same thing back to you like you talk about something now and if they do decline right then say well maybe later i'll do that but right now it's not about tit for tat it's not about you know we have to be equal i just wanted to to give you the opportunity later on if you want to do the exercise in reverse that's fine but do it at another time so it's not like an obligation it's not like that you have to pay a price for doing this and see how that goes see what kind of exercise it is.

Look any one or all three of these things might turn out to be a disaster you might hate it but at least you're doing things in life and you're trying something different and you're looking at ways to engage with new unique things that could create an improvement put in the comments below what you think about these if you tried them if you have a story like to ramble on about look on our website and we have some outlets where you can ramble on about it if you'd like us to give you that kind of an outlet look for the link on the website and we can do the same thing for you.