The Expert Podcast

In a famous episode of Seinfeld, there was a scenario that actually involved mediation, and it was an interesting approach to it because, even though it's a sitcom in fiction, it actually approached mediation in a very realistic way. The premise of this episode was that the character Elaine had a bike—it was a girl's bicycle—and she had a problem with her neck. The character Kramer offered to give her an adjustment or a massage or something to fix her neck problem in exchange for her bicycle. Elaine had to give him this bicycle, so Kramer fixed the neck. Elaine gave the bicycle, but then a day later, her neck problem came back—it didn’t fix the problem, so she wanted her bike back.

Kramer said, “I did what I was supposed to do,” but Elaine said it didn’t fix the problem, so there was a dispute over this contract. Of course, this was not as dry and logical as I just described it—it was part of a sitcom, where there were jokes and other storylines that went along with it. But in order to resolve this issue, they had to get a neutral third party. They couldn’t get Jerry Seinfeld because he was involved with both parties, so they got Newman, who was described as being unfeeling, impartial, completely logical, and having no empathy towards either party. Right, a neutral third party—an impartial mediator.

They bring Newman, and of course, his first answer was what you see on the screen: “Cut the bike down the middle and give each one half.” Well, that doesn’t really make any sense, but that was part of the joke. But the final version was actually not too far from mediation—the bike ended up going to Kramer, but it was because of his approach to the scenario.

Now, of course, this is all fiction and it’s designed to be a comedy, but it does give some insight into the value of mediation. Look, the parties couldn’t resolve it themselves. The other characters in the show, Jerry Seinfeld, couldn’t get involved because he wouldn’t be impartial. Newman, considered to be really just a jerk and somebody who didn’t care about anybody, had no feelings, was selected as the mediator.

Now, the mediator doesn’t have to be a jerk, but they do have to be somebody who can distance themselves from the feelings of others—recognize them but not get caught up in the feeling. So there is value to having a neutral third party, cold-hearted mediator because they’re going to be able to assist both parties with separating out the emotions from a dispute or conflict and getting down to what might help both of them logically, and then let the emotions fill back in afterward.